I need Him as much as I needed Him then

Wow, it has been exactly a week since I last posted.
We have seen a team go and one is on the way. This is why I like to scrapbook our teams, it makes it hard to forget them.
One of the members of the team was a remarkable young man. He had such zeal when speaking of the Lord is truly gifted. Only 19 years old and a youth Pastor. He is mature and sober and yet is so anxious to learn more about the Lord and in turn, tell others all these exciting things.
I became a Christian more than 10 years ago and was at a time when I desperately needed Him. It seemed I had tried everything else to satisfy and to relieve my pain but nothing had worked. I remember I told the Lord one night, if you don't show yourself to me, I am going to take my life. It was quite simple, if life was just what was around me then I didn't want any more of it. I met Christ through some Campus Christians working on the University campus, evangelizing. I went to a couple of Bible Studies and then I remember realizing, kind of awestruck, as to how I could inherit heaven. "You mean there is more to life than my problems, than my desire to self destruct?" I remember thinking these things. I was amazed and I fell in love with the Lord Jesus right away. I gave myself completely to Him. I read my Bible like there was no tomorrow. I would take Christian articles and hide them in my books so I could read them instead of listening to the class lecture. I learned to witness and witnessed alongside my missionary friends. I met with girls who were interested in growing in the Lord. I felt so alive, so energetic, so excited. Don't get me wrong, my life was still falling apart. I was working, evangelizing, and filed for bankruptcy cause things were so bad. But I had joy, this incredible joy! I still remember.
I witnessed and shared with my family and one by one they all gave their life to Christ.
Jesus changed my life, he changed my heart, the way I viewed things,...everything.
Now, years later, I still love the Lord just as much. I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I want to impact the world for Jesus. I want to truly LIVE!
Some would say, "you are truly living, you are a missionary in Haiti." It is not that simple. Even in the missionary field we can get overwhelmed, feel lost, be depressed. In the end, I realize it is all quite simple. We need to stick close to the Lord, dig deep into His Word, spend time meditating on His truths, pray, so that He can fashion our character to be like Him. The same "basics" for Christian living then are the same "basics" for Christian living now. I think that sometimes I think that those "basics" are for baby Christians, not me.
Today, I find Proverbs 3:5-6 encouraging. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." This is the truth, no ifs ands or buts. All I have to do is acknowledge Him in everything, and everything will take care of itself. This is the truth.