Are we truly "helping"?

I attacked my household chores yesterday. My house was pitiful. Now I only need one room to clean and organize. It is difficult when you come back, your husband has been home alone, and you have your regular work plus organizing two suitcases of stuff you brought back. I like getting the stuff but not really creating homes for all the stuff. Anyway.
As I was cleaning my office/pantry, I began preparing my girls bags. Nixon went grocery shopping during my time away and he got a few things we needed plus bought our monthly amount of groceries for our "ladies". Nixon and I buy a certain amount of groceries for Lucette's family and Madam Jan's family on a monthly basis. We do this to help them, to bless them. Nixon and I talked about it yesterday. Nixon questioned whether we are doing the right thing. Both these women have children but they also have "husbands". "Are we taking the sense of responsibility away from these "kings of the domain"? In a sense I believe we are. But even when we are not helping these ladies, meeting the families needs does not seem to press their husbands urgency to "step up".
Haiti is filled with this problem. It seems women here are expected to do the nurturing,cooking, cleaning and also do the providing.
How about when women have 3 or 4 children and they want to give away their children to local orphanages? Does this truly help them or does it rid them of their responsibility? Does it rob them of the lessons of life? Does it minimize the impression of "cause and effect", of "action and consequence"? Where does the helping end and the crippling begin? Do we sometimes start a "dependence" mentality. Is it possible that we sometimes take away Haitian's ability to think, make decisions, or provide for themselves? Scarry.
This is just another line of thought that increases my urgency to run to the Lord in prayer and truly make sure that we are doing God's work, according to His knowledge and wisdom, ....not our own.

"Two worlds"

I just got back from a visit to Texas. I am exhausted. There was a lot that happened during this week and it felt like the visit was a lot longer. Yet not long enough somehow. I was sitting in Fernie's salon. He has been cutting my hair for years now. As he was snipping off 3 inches, he asked me, "do you ever get up in the morning and say 'what the heck am i doing here'?" Funny he should ask that. There have been many of those mornings during the last two years.

It is so out of this world to think that Haiti and the U.S. are even on the same earth. I stood out in my mom's parking lot on Thursday night and just felt the nice cool desert air and listened to the silence of far off traffic underneath the city lights. And now I am sitting here writing this blog as I listen to the voodoo drums roll and the sing song chants at a neighbor's home. Two worlds.

As I sit here thinking of what to write next, I see a big strong arm reaching into such a diverse globe. Nothing makes sense if it is without the good news of Jesus Christ. Underneath us all are some very basic sins like lust and corruption. We are all so different but very much the same. We can all see our need for unconditional love and belonging. We all long to feel special and we all desire to leave a legacy behind. I want to leave the certainty of Truth in as many hearts as possible. I want to leave hope to a dying world, beauty. I want to really "live", all of my days, in this life and the next.

Underneath the rolling drums and the distant sound of traffic is perfection and a perfect Creator who knows me and loves me more than I know. I just can't understand the wonderful fact that He loves everyone else the same.

Amazing.