The life in Haiti is difficult for many reasons. Today I realize the greatest battle that is fought is hopelessness. Life here seems so dim sometimes, the hope for a better future barely visible at all. We had a team last week, from North Carolina. The group was a medical team and saw a total of about 2000 people during the week. The last night of clinics, one of the team members burst into tears. She verbalized her concerns about how she felt they only put a bandaid on the physical problems that people have but really didn't make a difference at all. I could feel the heartfelt sorrow and hopelessness that she felt. We deal with it so much here. I believe that I deal with it sometimes by just not thinking too much about it at all. But does the Lord stop thinking about the person that suffers, hungers, is in despair. Should I just be numb to it, or should I weep and pray,....pouring out my heart before the Lord for these people? The latter is not the easiest but clearly it is right. Even as I write these words, tears stream down my cheeks. We live our lives in comfort, having treats, having outings, being bored as I have been for the last couple of days. And at the same time, so many suffer. It just blows my mind to realize it. I don't understand it. A young woman started to work with us about a month ago. She is the daughter of a woman who has been working with HCH for a long time. Lucette is 27 years old and had 5 beautiful children. Her 9 month old baby died a few months ago in her sleep. My husband said that they say the baby was the most beautiful one. When it was proposed that Lucette start to work for the ministry, cleaning and washing for the team floor, I was thrilled. I knew she had been through a difficult time and that she was poor. I met her and though she could not clean as I liked, I had an incredible patience and love for her. I asked to meet her children. She brought the two girls and later the two boys. They are absoulutely beautiful, I was struck by their good looks. My heart is just so mysteriously fond of this family. Nixon and I send goodies to the children and think of them so much. This morning I asked Lucette if she ate, I had some leftover porridge. She said, "no". I asked if her kids ate and that was a no too. Nixon then proceeded to ask her why this was so if she is getting paid. He reminded her that she was just given additional money a couple of days ago for some wash she had done for a team. "What happened to that?", he asked. She said she had given it to people. What!I walked away and let my husband talk to her, knowing my husband would fill me in on all she said. She lives with her man's mother. Her four children and her and her man live in one room. Her mother in law and her children live in another room. And there is another couple of rooms rented out to others. All of the people know that she is working. Before she was working she would look for work, washing or doing anything she could to help her man provide. He works in construction and works whenever he can find work. But even before she was working, it was the same. There are so many people living together. When the family is not there, people come into the room and look through the families things. They take anything they find whether that is money or food. If the family gives the people nothing, the people around them come with stories that would break your heart or with persistence that cannot be fought, and the family feels there is nothing to do but give the money. As Lucette told her story, she laughs it off. Perhaps if she did not, she would be driven to madness. They are stuck. They have no money, no savings, no room to call their own. The people live off of those that have anything. If she cooks, all bring their bowls and scowl if they are given too little. The children are left with a morsel. The boys came to the house last week and I had given them a muffin. I thought I would just delight their taste buds with a sweet treat. I did not know that they probably had not eaten anything that morning. Just thinking of the injustice makes me so angry and all I can do is cry. How can a person fight against such things? How can this family move forward? What is the solution for Lucette's family? What is the solution for the countless number of families going through similiar situations?How can Nixon and I make a difference, even a dent in such poverty, ignorance, evil? How can our ministries make a difference?I honestly don't know. But I know Him who does know. I know Him. I have walked with Him, I have felt His comfort and seen him do marvelous things. He knows, He sees, He hears. I am struck by the fact that my tears and my compassion are nothing compared to His tears and compassion. I know many heartbreaking families, He knows them all. His heart breaks for every one of them. Most importantly, He has not forgotten them. He will not forget them. Knowing that gives me hope. Through this hope I pray and then move,... in faithfulness to my Master, The LIVING God. I am His servant. We are His servants. Blessed be Your Name Lord, Blessed be Your Holy Name. God bless all of you, Sandra & Nixon Altidor (serving Him in Haiti)
